Written by Justina Goh of Asian Parenting PH
Being a parent also means being a expert in handling the multiple behavioral phases our kids go through. We are super-patient with their demands, we negotiate with them through tantrums and answer their ton of questions.
But there are times when our young child’s nagging, demanding and tantrum-throwing do get to us.
For instance: When we are rushing against the clock to do errands or
get them to school on time, they decide to drag their feet or bombard us
with a avalanche of questions.
Haven’t we all been there? I certainly have. It goes without saying then that handling kids can definitely be a demanding and trying task. They go through a range of behavioral phases in their early childhood and parents often find themselves questioning their decisions.
Well, here’s a consolation — it is not only your child who goes through these behavioral phases.
All kids go through very similar phases, and what’s even more
comforting is that experts say that ‘these annoying’ things that kids do
that are actually good for them!
Let’s look at some annoying things that kids do but are actually good for them
Photo via See That, Dad?
1. Crying at the drop of a hat. If we feel hurt or angry, doesn’t a good cry always make us feel
better (yes, I’m talking about us adults!)? Research proves that this is
true and that crying can reduce stress hormones in our bodies almost
instantly. This goes for kids too.
If they cry over everything, let them cry it out. Haven’t you noticed
that after a good cry your kid reverts back to whatever she was doing
as if nothing had happened.
2. Throwing a tantrumYou’ll probably think, “How on earth can a tantrum be good thing?”
Well, hear us out. A tantrum is a way for kids to demonstrate that they
are either angry, annoyed or hurt.
Designate a room in your house for letting off steam. Don’t worry —
he won’t grow up to be a teenager who pounds his fists and rolls on the
ground when he is angry.As children grow, they learn other ways of expressing their feelings.
Always talk to your child about what upset him. This will get him into
the habit of talking about his feelings.
3. Pleading and whining
Ugh, haven’t we all heard the “but pweeeeeees, mummy” whines many
times before? Kids have the innate ability of pleading for their parents
to surrender to their requests. So how can this behaviour be constructive? Well, by doing so, kids
are learning about boundaries and negotiation. They are learning how to
speak up and be heard. Show them that their pleas are heard. Of course, being gentle in how
you respond doesn’t mean you can’t be firm with setting limits.
Photo via Flickr (Patrick Foto)
4. Acting scared
There’s no need to call kids who get scared easily a ‘scaredy cat.’
It is healthy to express fear and this can be blessing if a dangerous
situation arises as well. Acknowledge your child’s fear and tell him or her it’s OK to be scared. My little girl was scared of thunder when she was about 4 and I found
that explaining what thunder is in an easy-to-understand scientific way
really helped her get over her fear.
Now, whenever she hears thunder, she doesn’t shudder anymore.
5. Being resistant
How many times has your little girl frowned at you and said she didn’t want to do something? Tomany times to count? It is actually OK for her to do this. Again, she is testing boundaries, asserting herself and making her voice count. How you respond is key. Although her little frowning face drives you crazy, try not to bark back telling her to do it because you said so. Explain patiently why she needs to do that and how it will help her.
Photo via Huffington Post
This is my personal addition to the list and the least surprising of the lot that I recall. Most parents know the feeling of being drowned by a million “but why?” questions from their kids. It could start off as being cute and end up being completely frazzlinYes, you were right not to tell her to be quiet. But if your child — like mine — asks a gazillion questions per second, remind yourself that she has a thirst for knowledge and this is how she learns about the world. So, patience is the key here too.
